Monday, November 17, 2014

Kids for Sale.....or free......

 ....or better yet I'll pay you to take them. 
Yes its been one of those days.

Really though my plan for this post is to introduce to you my family. First off moi, I am 37 (yes I just had to ask my son how old I was) I have been married and divorced (mostly amicably), I have been with an abusive (physically, mentally and emotionally) partner who is an alcoholic and drug addict. I am fortunate and blessed to have met a wonderful man, Jay, who has taken such good care of the kids and I. He works very hard to provide for us. He is a wonderful role model for my kiddos. He very rarely raises his voice and shocks the hell out of all of us on the rare occasion that he does. Cause ya know these kids can even make him crack once in awhile. 
Our tribe consists of 5 children that live with us full time and 1 that doesn't. 
Robert = 16
Jaden = 14
Trevor = 14
Alexa = 10
Tyler & Abby (twins) = 8

Yep thats 6. Holy shit we have 6 kids. And we have 2 furkids. 
Mr. Dudley the Dog is a giant black lab. Seriously hes gotta be over 100 lbs now. Fatso. ;)
and Marigold the fat beautiful orange tabby cat. My heart and home are full. 

I have been an almost life long sufferer of depression. I am also a chronic pain sufferer. I know most people don't believe that's a real thing and that's because they don't understand what it really means to have unexplained chronic pain. More about that later.

My first born, Robert, was also a party to the abusive behavior of my second partner. I've tried to get him into counseling because I'm pretty sure he suffers from depression. I wont give up trying to get him to go. He deserves to be happy and I know if he gets some therapy he can at least learn to deal with his demons.

My second born, Alexa, is a sweet but confused kid. She didn't suffer physical abuse but there was definite mental and emotional abuse. Its taken a long time for me to be able to talk about any of this because naturally I feel like 'what kind of mother am I that I didn't see how this was all happening and even when I suspected, I wasn't able to protect my babies?' Believe you me I struggle with my inner demons on a daily basis. There isn't a person in this world who hates me more than me. 

Then there are my twins, Tyler and Abby. They both have their own set of issues. I've known since early on that they did. Their dad, deadbeat #2 did not ever want to hear about any of my suspicions. So therefore I was never allowed to discuss things with their pediatrician. I wasn't allowed to put them in preschool or daycare. So in the past few years that we have been away from him I have had them evaluated.

Tyler has been diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder, and ADHD; combined type.
Abby has been diagnosed with Depressive Disorder w/self injurious behaviors, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), and Mixed Receptive and Expressive Language Disorder. And even a touch of ADHD. However they believe that the ADHD may be a bi-product symptom of some of the more severe diagnosis. 

My son Jaden is my son in my heart and my soul but not biologically. He is deadbeat #2's son from a previous relationship. Jaden came to live with us when he was 5 years old (4 days before I gave birth to the twins) and has been with me ever since. He is fully aware that he has a biological mom and he basically knows what happened back then. But he started calling me mom about a year after living with us and I assumed the role he seemed to want me to fill.

Trevor is my step-son. He is Jay's son. He lives with his mom and grandparents full time and comes and stays with us on the occasional weekend or holiday/vacation. He's a good kid. Pretty typical 14 year old boy. ;)

I'm even going to throw in our fur kids. Cause even they have a story. Mr. Dudley came to us from a rescue group called the Critter Cavalry Rescue at the most perfect time. Jay and I had been together for a while and we had moved our joined family into a house with a nice decent sized fenced in yard. I was working 3rd shift and was home all day taking care of my mom while Jay was at work and the kids were all in school and I was lonely. So we discussed and discussed getting a dog. We immediately agreed we wanted a large, family friendly breed to adopt (not buy). So I took to the internet and found Critter Cavalry through Petfinder. And low and behold Mr. Dudley was one of two dogs we were really interested in. A little bit of paperwork and a few phone calls with Ms. Candace (super sweet awesome Candace) and we anxiously awaited our meet up at the Coventry park n ride. And here we are, as I sit typing this now Mr. Dudley is snoring soundly at my feet, never more than a stones throw away from me. He adores the kids. He even loved my mom. She wasn't a big pet person but they got used to each other and right up until she moved into the nursing home he would sleep close to her bedroom door whenever I would shower or need to run an errand. He was aware of her disability and need and also aware that she didn't want him to cuddle or be real close to her. But he would also keep a close eye on her when she would move around with her walker which always earned him a treat when she finally made it to the kitchen. He's been a perfect fit for our family. He loves camping and taking walks. He loves to play in the snow. He loves to lay around and be super lazy ;) and he loves to vacation at Grampa's house in Maine.

Our girl Marigold is also a rescue. Again I do not buy cats and dogs from pet shops. There are too many homeless cats and dogs to be adopted. So we looked and looked and we found Marigold. She is an orange tabby cat. She was small and shy and timid when we adopted her. She has long since come out of that shell and thinks she is Queen of Sheba now. She is loud and mouthy and typical in so many ways. I absolutely love her to pieces. She owns everyone in this house, yes even Jay, though he'll deny it. ;) If I had it my way I'd have at least 5 more cats. I just love cats. ;) But Jay wont hear of it. We'll see ;) She is a good cat though. She likes things her way and as long as you give her what she wants she behaves ;) isn't that the way it is with cats?

So there ya have it....we are one big huge dysfunctional yet somehow functioning family. And deep down I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.
Good night friends.

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